


Journey to the Center of the Selfie

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied Incest, M/M, Twin Striders, but you can pretend they're any strider incarnations you want idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:31:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk asks Dave for a picture of himself and Dave is a little shit about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journey to the Center of the Selfie

**Author's Note:**

> i'm just in a twin striders kind of mood.
> 
> okay, so picture dave with pretty blond hair and shit and he's all slender because he doesn't do shit other than strifes and might actually vomit if he had to touch a dumbbell. and then there's dirk who does a bunch of weight training and shit, and he's not necessarily ripped, but he's muscular.
> 
> that's what i'm imagining right now.
> 
> (btw, fuck pesterlog coding. seriously. i'm so sorry.)

\- - timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] - -

TT: Send me a photo of you.  
TG: why  
TT: I need to show someone how you look and I don’t have any pictures of my beloved baby brother.  
TG: bullshit you dont have to do anything  
TT: Just send the damn picture, Dave.  
TG: say please fucksack  
TT: What?  
TG: say pretty please with a cherry on top and ill send you the pic  
TT: Dave, you’re making me prematurely gray.  
TG: do it bro  
TT: Fine.  
TT: Pretty please with a cherry on top, may I have a Dave Strider selfie.  
TG: thats better  
TT: I know you take a thousand pictures of yourself on any given day, Dave.  
TT: So I’m not sure why you’re making me jump through hoops just to get one of them.  
TG: shut up  
TG: so you want face torso or full  
TT: Preferably full. I want to show this person how much taller than you I am.  
TG: fuck you im a growing boy  
TG: ill get so goddamn tall  
TG: see whos laughing then  
TT: I would never laugh at your height disorder, Dave.  
TG: bite me  
TT: So are you done taking your picture yet or what?  
TG: almost  
TG: its an art man  
TT: I’m sure.  
TG: no like  
TG: i have to  
TG: do all these goddamn angles  
TG: and then i get stuck with this shitty awful lighting  
TG: its two in the morning dirk  
TG: do you know what that means???  
TG: that means lamplight and washed out yellow on my pale ass skin  
TT: Ass skin.  
TG: that too  
TG: im gonna pull my hair out  
TG: youre gonna get a pic thats all blond hair just piled up on the floor of my bedroom  
TG: crap text overlay  
TG: dave striders sanity leave your message in someone elses voicemail box  
TT: You’re all about the histrionics tonight.  
TG: its what i do  
TG: they dont pay me enough  
TG: im gonna demand a raise  
TT: Bro, I have to go soon. Have you managed to salvage a single photograph from the endless parade of digital excrement that is the contents of your SD card?  
TG: why you gotta be so wordy man  
TT: Coming from you?  
TG: stfu im done  
TG: im texting it to you  
TT: I think it’s probably inaccurate to call sending a picture message “texting” really.  
TT: Given that texting is, in fact, centered on the sending of text.  
TT: Or something.  
TG: fair enough  
TG: still shut your dainty trap  
TG: did you get the pic  
TT: Dave.  
TT: Why are you only wearing boxers?  
TG: excuse you those are red silk  
TG: youre welcome  
TT: Dave.  
TG: show it to your “friend”  
TG: im going to bed  
TT: Dave.  
TG: have fun with my image bro  
TG: one time offer wink wink  
TG: twink twink even  
TG: ok later

\- - turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] - - 

TT: Dave, I’m not doing anyth  
TT: God damn it.

**Author's Note:**

> was dirk looking for masturbation material or genuinely wanting to show someone a photo? we just don't know. but if it's the latter, how the fuck is he gonna show that without prefacing with: okay, let me explain.
> 
> you can find me at reduxcorrelator.tumblr.com. if you have any concerns, critiques, questions, or requests, please feel free to leave a comment on the work or send me a message at my blog. feedback is very much appreciated.


End file.
